


There's A Snake In My Booty

by Milk_bud



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Accidental Vore, M/M, cowboy! keith, crack smut, eating ass
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-13
Updated: 2017-10-13
Packaged: 2019-01-16 18:30:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12348222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Milk_bud/pseuds/Milk_bud
Summary: Keith stumbles upon a snake up Lance's booty and decides to help





	There's A Snake In My Booty

**Author's Note:**

> I can't say i've never hated myself more for something I have done, but this is probably up there.

The day was thicc with a heavy fog, and it was a perfect day for Lance to go camping. He woke, groggy and tired but still sensing with his spidey senses that it would be an amazing day. Releasing a juicy yawn, he stretched out his arms and let them fall to his slide when he was done. 

Lance looked around, patting the hard ground to find his phone, finally feeling the small rectangular electronic he picked it up and checked the time. Clicking the power button, the screen lit up with light, he squinted and saw that the clock read 2:17 in the afternoon.

This wasn't an unusual thing, Lance actually slept longer, but he was just so eager to get out into the wilderness and explore all the amazing things it had to offer. The trees, the birds, rivers, wood chips! That smell of plants doin their plant thing.... and of course.... the snake, oh the snakes, their little limbless bodies, flopping around on the floor, sliding and slithering into small spaces. Lance wondered where they could fit

"How small of a space" Lance asked himself, could they fit into a hole in the dirt? How does the dirt feel about that? Does it like the fact that there are millions of animals penetrating it's surface every second of it's life? What if it doesn't like it, does it consent? Do the organisms even ask the dirt, like 

"Hey, can I dig deep inside you and squirm around?" Lance didn't think so, it's not like the dirt would have time to talk to every small little snake that asked it that.

But, Lance could talk to a singular snake if it asked to wiggle around inside of him, it's just one snake! He has had conversations with a large group of people, hell, he has a large family! 

Lance caught himself on what he was thinking, he grew ashamed, the thought of a long tube of muscle wiggling inside him made him embarrassed. But yet, he couldn't help but wonder about it, he quickly began to fantasize about the feeling. 

"No way!" He said out loud, only to himself. He tried to laugh away the idea, but in the back of his mind he knew what he really wanted. It... It wouldn't hurt to try, he asked himself. He is alone in the woods after all, there is no one here to catch him, no one to laugh or be disappointed in him. 

Lance settled on the conclusion that it would be a bad idea, and snakes can't talk so there is no way Lance could ask the little fellow if he even wanted to. So he unzipped his sleeping bag and threw it open so he could get out, slipping his legs out of the bag, he grabbed his socks and placed them on his feet. After that he put on a sweater, unsure if was going to be rather chilly outside of the tent. 

As he crouched to open the door to his tent, he reached back to grab his bag, it carried all of his essentials. Inside of the large bag was a single cup of pudding and a notebook for all of the encounters he plans to make in the forest, hopefully a story about a snake could end up in there. 

Stepping out of the tent, he took a deep breath in through his nose, an unnecessary long amount of time might I add. 

"I love the smell of my crops" He said to himself, although he has never planted a single thing in his life. He put his bag on and closed his tents flaps, turning around after and smiling up to the sun. He knew he was going to have an adventure today, he could feel it in his bones, his long noodle bones.. his beautiful long bones...

Walking over to the bench by the fire place, he took out his notebook and grabbed a pen to write with. He examined his campsite to check if anything was missing, perhaps maybe a sneaky man sneaked up to his little camp and sneaked around to look for his little sneaky bits. What would the sneaky man want? Maybe Lance's sneaking desires, maybe his saucy secrets, possibly his sneaky little socks, or maybe the sausages.

After walking around Lance was able to confirm that there was indeed, no sneaky man sneaking around his camp, and Lance felt a little disappointment. Maybe the sneaky man could bring in some excitement to his life, Lance was in desperate need of a little adventure. 

He sighed heavily, there was nothing interesting to write in his new notebook, Lance thought coming out here he would possibly spice up his life, make it more interesting. Suddenly, he stands up, grabbing his bag, not bothering to put it over his shoulder and walks right into the forest.

"If I want change in my life, I have to work for it" He thought, hastily making his way into the woods; with no clear path. In his determination to seek out adventure, he didn't notice a small little snake begin to slither towards his ankles. 

Lance walked with confidence at first, his head held high and his chest puffed out to the best of his ability, but he soon deflated after realizing he had no idea where he was going. He slugged around, dragging his feet in the boring woodchips with no sense of adventure or any type of change in his life.

Lance suddenly stopped, he circled around, trying to make sense of where he was. Had he passed this rock before? Or was there a rock that looked exactly like it? Was this tree there the last time if he HAD passed this place before? But the trees are everywhere so there is no way of telling if that is, THE, tree that he had passed. 

Was this long boy lost? Was his wonderful face going to be plastered all over missing persons posters? He was definitely too amazing to go missing, there was no way god would let such a wonderful soul leave the lives of all the people he has graced? Absolutely not!

Lance spotted a tree stump that had been robbed of it's life, it was probably a good sturdy tree, but then again, if it was just that; why would it need to be cut down?

Lance stopped thinking about the loss of the tree and took a seat, placing his bag down and settling his chin in his hands. Lance never liked to admit when he was wrong, but he could not deny it anymore: he was lost.

"Oh! how I wish a prince would come save me!" He hollered into the branches, hoping a stunning man would come out. Instead, a small green slithering friend emerged from the trunks of the trees

Lance became excited, finally the thing he needed, a little fun and a little friend. Lance stood up, walking over to the snake to examine him, looking at his bright colour and his scales. They looked to beautiful, not like they would crawl into a small hole and wiggle around.

"Hey little guy, are you here to rescue me?" Lance asked it, hoping for a response but not really expecting one. 

He scoffed, walking away from the snake. 

"I have to go pee, turn around and don't look you sneaky man" Lance said as he unbuckled his pants and pulled them down. He looked over his shoulder, finding that the snake had disappeared. He didn't put much mind into it, considering he was in a forest.

He continued to take a leek, not realizing a small green snake was coming up his leg, slithering around, being careful not to alarm Lance. You would say "what a considerate snake!" right? Well you are wrong, this snake is about to slither into the a small hole, and wiggle where the sun don't shine.

"AH WHAT THE FUCK" Lance yelled, when the snake poked his small little head into the tight hole, his tongue flicking out, hitting against his insides. Lance wouldn't want to admit that he was actually enjoying it more than he should have, but for the sake of his dignity and the fact that he would have to live with himself for the rest of his life is he did this, he tried to pull the snake out. 

The panicked hands of Lance only made the snake want to push further in, digging deeper and deeper into Lance. It wiggled around, moving it's cold body inside Lance's hot hole. 

Lance screamed, he wasn't sure if it was from the new sensation or from the fear that the snake may crawl into his stomach. But he screamed, loud and blood curdling into the sky, hoping somehow it would make the snake stop

or keep going.

Lance pulled and pulled and tugged at the snake, but he just kept pushing into Lance.

Lance had to admit he was in a very awkward situation, his pants were down to his ankles at this point and he was leaning on that stump trying to pull a snake out of his ass. He clawed at the snake, until he realized he was at the very tip of it's tail, it was almost all the way inside him, licking him.

Lance heard a crack in the forest, his head snapped to the side to see where it came from. His eyes searched the trees to see what it was, it was silent for a second, other than the sound of the snake inside of him

"Howdy partner" A voice came from the trees

Lance gasped and covered his mouth, looking over to see a man on a horse, he wore a cowboy hat and sported a good lesbian plaid. He had a mullet He wore cowboy boots and assless chaps. 

He was not wearing pants, just the assless chaps.

Lance tried to cover his face, he didn't want the chapped stranger to see him like this, vulnerable and bent over a stump with a snake in his ass. Then again, the man's dick was just out.

"Looks like you need some help there boy howdy" the man tips his hat at Lance, who blushes in response. His face growing red and his knuckles going white from griping the stump.

The man hopped off his horse, who just walked off to the side and ate some grass, he slowly walked over to Lance, who's pants were down to his ankles. His ass was hanging out, his hole gaping open so you could see the tail of the snake. The man bent over to look at the plump rump, raising an eyebrow at Lance.

"Well buttcheek on a stick, i'll be darned if I don't help you're fine soul!" The man said, he began to stretch, squatting and doing lunges. Lance watched in horror and disbelief as the cowboy spat on his hands and inhaled, and bring his hands towards Lance's throbbing asshole. 

"Buckle up you city slicker, Doctor Keith is about to dive into this feast" He shoved his hand inside, forcing his way through and tearing Lance's asshole. Lance screamed and grabbed Keith's hand for support, feeling his warm hand twist and grab for the snake. The snakes tongue flicked inside of him, and Keith's calloused fingers grabbed for the feisty monster who was trying to steal Lance away. 

Lance moaned and blushed deeply, Keith acknowledged that and pushed harder which made Lance pushed back onto his hand. Keith grunted and pulled his hand out, it was dripping and Keith look Lance dead in the eyes and brought his hand to his mouth, licking the dripping wetness. 

"Now that's what I call some good meat" Keith said as he wiped his off on his tight leather chaps.

Lance felt like he was in a porn, he was getting fisted by a man in assless chaps. 

Keith sighed and crossed his arms in frustration. 

"This isn't going to work" Keith said, standing behind lance again, grabbing his hips. 

Lance stood up weakly "What do we do?" He asked him, shaking.

"Well... when a snake bites you, you're supposed to suck the venom out yall'shdn'tv known that?" Keith said with a sensual voice

Lance didn't understand what he meant at first, until it finally clicked in his brain and he realized what Keith was implying, his legs gave out and he fell to the ground, his legs still shaking.

Keith bent down and forced Lance to lay on his stomach, he forcefully pulled Lance's hips around his shoulders and placed both of his hands on each cheek, spreading them so Lance's asshole was more open, ready to accept Keith.

Keith chuckled and moved his mouth closer and closer, Lance waited in anticipation as he felt his hot breath on his skin, making him sweat. He shook when he felt Keith's wet tongue enter him, licking around the entrance and inserting it. He made sure to explore, lance moaned into the ground. He put his had back onto Keith's leather pants, they were hot and wet from keith sweating. Lance had to admit, he was kind of turned on from the chaps.

Keith continued to feel around, until he suddenly started sucking, Lance felt like it was a plunger, he couldn't hold on much longer. Keith sucked hard, and Lance felt the snake begin to come out, it's body like a spaghetti noodle for Keith, it was like Keith did this all the time. 

With on final suck, the snake came flying out, Keith grabbed it mid air air and held it in his hand. Keith continued to lick though, making sure to mark his territory. With a final kiss, Keith pulled away from Lance's puckered hole. 

Keith looked at lance and winked

"Save a snake, ride a cowboy" He said as he stood up and walked towards his horse, who was eating the grass like nothin happened. 

"Wait!" Lance yelled as he stood up, he could not follow his ass eating prince charming because his legs could not handle his weight without collapsing. These noodle legs have failed this noodle man.

Keith got on his horse and began to ride away. Before disappearing into the forest, he turned his head slightly towards Lance and threw the snake at him. Lance caught it in his hands, he screamed at Keith, asking what it meant. Keith turned away and whispered "Remember, Lance"

"You've got a friend in me"


End file.
